THE NIGERIAN WEDDING PHENOMENOM Pt 2

In my last post about the Nigerian wedding phenomenon read HERE. I gave a little intro into the craziness and wahala that comes with a Nigerian wedding.

Now allow me to break it down for you; let me go in depth as to why I think many Nigerian wedding are outrageous. My number one reason is

1.     THE BRIDE PRICE

I think I will be right in assuming that most of you reading this post know what the bride price is all about. For those of you that don’t know let me enlighten you.  The bride price is the dowry or the money that the groom pays to the bride’s family as compensation for raising her to be whom she is now. It is assumed especially in West African culture that everything that has happened in a girl’s life which includes her childhood upbringing, her schooling and training was all done in preparation for her husband’s house.

Bride Price no be beans oo!!

In some places in eastern Nigeria the bride prices are ridiculously extreme I mean really outrageous we are talking thousands of Naira. In places like Mbaise in Imo and Calabar in Cross river state a girl’s price varies depending on her level of education. If she is a graduate then wahala dey ooo!!! The bride price would be really quite expensive. But surprisingly a lot of guys look to marry calabar women I’m guessing it because of their skill in the bedroom we all know calabar are very knowledgeable in that area especially.

Personally I think this is a tradition that we could gladly do without. 

2.     THE MARITAL LIST

Ghen Ghen……………..(action music playing). Before I begin to talk about this one let me first explain what the marital list. The marital list is more or less like the terms and conditions that must be met in order for a groom to be able to marry a girl from a particular place. Most of the all the items on the list cannot be met physically and then it has to be settled with money (yes oh Money answereth all things). And the amounts are just too high also in thousands of naira.

Now all these expenses and the wedding plans haven’t even begun. Decorations, food, music venue haven’t even been talked about and money don dey go fiam fiam. It is well sha. what really annoys me about the marital list is that it doesnt even go o bride's family. sometimes strangers who i'm probably didn't even know that the bride existes would now come and make demands just because they are from the same village. as they say " It takes a village to raise a child" these people take that adage quite literally and the come to demand their own share of the bounty.

Now all that wahala was just for traditional wedding. When we come to the white it is a whole different kettle of fish and with this craze of everybody wanting their wedding to be on Bella Naija blog or Munaluchi website or in Ovation magazine; Nigerian couples go the extra extra mile to make sure their wedding day is the stuff of fairy tales (regardless of the size of their pocket oo). Now let’s break down the white wedding structure.

A.     THE VENUE: in the traditional marriage the venue is never considered as an issue because it usually takes in the bride’s father’s compound or premises. But in this era of selfies and Instagram the wedding venue has to be Social Media worthy.  It has to be Instagram, Pinterest and Facebook worthy. Hmmn No dulling every nook and cranny has to be well decorated and lighted. Everybody wants to be the next Stephanie and Linus Idahosa so they go all out and pull all stops. And most of the time the venues which satisfy these criteria are pretty costly and usually on the island so that’s another huge expense.

B.     THE WEDDING GOWN AND THE BRIDAL TRAIN: Ever since Toke Makinwa wore her April By KUnbi wedding Gown and Stephanie Idahosa donned her Elie Saab gown. Nigerian brides have been killing themselves just to get a designer gown their wedding never mind that it’s just a one day thing oo. Although sometimes these gowns can be modified to wear as a normal cocktail outfit but then again these high fashion designer outfits cost an eye and a tooth and then some.

Another trend now is having a large number of bridesmaids and groomsmen. These extras now have to get really dressed up and dolled up and sometimes it’s the couple that foots the bill of the outfits for the groomsmen and brides maids.

C.     THE ASO EBI: now this is actually my favourite part of any wedding. You can tell the calibre of people the bride and groom are by the quality of the asoebi. Now for those of you who don’t know what Aso-Ebi is let me explain. Aso-ebi (translation: cloth of the family) is used to refer to the outfits made from matching fabric and pattern worn by family members (though it now applies to anyone who can afford one or would like to wear one) at a wedding ceremony or social event to denote unity, support, and represent sides of the family. Contrary to popular belief, the aso-ebi phenomenon is not strictly a Nigerian thing but applies to many tribes and countries in Africa with the subtle difference in the name; not called aso-ebi across all countries.   It’s no surprise that people attach so much importance to the associated aso-ebi piece of fabric. Perhaps, it’s because of the preferential treatment people who wear aso-ebi get at a social event amongst other reasons. (Culled from allaboutnaijaweddings.com)

The aso ebi fabric usually costs really much. I do not know if it’s because the bride and groom are trying to recover wedding costs but sha that one na for their pocket. Personally if I can’t afford the asoebi being sold for an occasion I’d take a piece of the fabric and go and look for it in the market where it would be a whole lot cheaper.
Nowadays to avoid all the extra cost most couples do both traditional and white wedding on the same day.
Other cost incurring areas includes the Cake, Food, Dj, the Video and photography and the souvenir.I don’t know if I am the only one who notices this but why is it that in most weddings I go for it is mainly the old old women there that fight tooth and nail for souvenirs ehn?!!