I hate the night, it terrifies me. When I told my
sister Kemi about my Nyctophobia she went
all Psalm 23 on me, the next time I tried broaching the subject she went from
zero to Psalm 91 real fast. Since then I never bothered again.
How do I let Kemi know that I’m not afraid of arrows of evil
or pestilence or doom and destruction?
How do I tell her that her psalm
91s and 23s won’t work against my fears because the Bible also said that I
should honour my nightly torment so that
my days may be long?
How do I explain that it’s not the darkness
that scares me but what daddy does to me in the darkness?
How do I
find the words?
The first
time Daddy came to me was the night of my fifteenth birthday; he told me he had
come to say goodnight to his beautiful princess-he always knew how to make me
feel special- he told me that I was all he had ever prayed to God for and that
ever since mommy died I and my sister Kemi where all he needed in this world
and he kissed me on the mouth…. Twice.
The next
time daddy came to my room he told me he loved me and that it would make him so
proud to have me as a daughter if I would let him show me how. I did.
As Daddy was
beaming with pride at my blood stained sheets I stared at my feet in shame and
pain, he told me to keep this as our little secret. I did.
It’s four
years today since my fifteenth birthday. Daddy says he has a surprise for me ……
I hate the
night, he terrifies me.
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